I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Enjoy the penises
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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