check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
