I'm eating all of the evidence.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
