Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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