Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
