no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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