At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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