i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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