Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
