Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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