You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
