and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
