Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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