Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize