Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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