More tranny stories later!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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