My boss' voice literally gives me gas
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
