I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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