Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
