he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
