that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize