Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
