we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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