I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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