me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I could fuck to npr.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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