tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
