I'm so fucking centered right now
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
