Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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