i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
