I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
