In the future we'll all be gay
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
