she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
