if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
