the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
