I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
