I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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