just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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