yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
