I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
