Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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