Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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(630): View more from Illinois

I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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(914): View more from New York

No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?

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(315): View more from New York

Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me

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