Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
