pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
