I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
