Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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