I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
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Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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