How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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