ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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