i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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