I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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