I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He better not be in your backpack
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
