Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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