Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
