Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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