No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
