Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
