FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
