1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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